Part 22: How to become a whole person

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Is something or someone missing in your life? Do you sometimes feel empty or broken within? Do you constantly distract yourself to avoid feelings of that very moment? There is an opportunity presented to you to really feel and experience the unbearable feelings. There is no one else in the world that can ever fill your voids or make you happy, only YOU can achieve the complete wholeness of self. Only you have that power!

Contemplating on emotional situations within the walls of self, by going deep and asking those crucial questions, honest and perhaps even uncomfortable, challenging at first, you have a great chance to begin to confront the obstacles to your emotional happiness and see everything clearly.

Here are some questions you can ask of yourself. ‘What am I thinking of or who am I thinking of? Is it a person or a thing that I miss? Are old memories triggering my painful feelings? Where in the body do I feel the pain? What substitute do I reach for to feel instantly better? Do I eat more food? Do I shop? Do I bet? Do I work more? Do I text friends? Do I listen to loud music to shut my inner voice? Do I cling to illusions? Am I aware what is actually happening at the moment? ‘

Recognise your own voice

Can you hear your self? Are you an intuitive person? How do you express yourself in this world? Where you once expressive in a different form? Did you once enjoy playing a musical instrument; were you a poet? Did you paint or draw? Were you good at crafts or baking? What is it that you want?

When you rely on other people, you give yourself over to them. You become dependent, like a child that needs support. Growing up is a frustrating maturing process; tremendous change happens. Take into consideration factors such as predetermined genetic plans, our nurturing or traumatic environments, culture, values and beliefs. Taking risks may be fearful. After all, you already formed a character – do you manipulate others to fit your requirements? Or do you play ‘the poor me’ game in order to meet your needs? Resentment is one of the biggest barriers to personal growth.

As you become more and more self- reliant, less external helping will be needed. You become less of a burden to others. You develop valuable and desirable personal skills such as transparency, resilience, authenticity, independence and courage. You create a bank of your own resources to survive.

Time to act!

Sense of joy, fulfilment, self-love, compassion become part of you that no other external influence can ever recreate. Time to get honest, brave and fearless. No longer hiding from self, facing a mirror, your projections. Sit with your voids, re-owned what you disowned, digest the alien parts of you, embrace the feelings, be gentle, heal my dear reader.


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