Closure is achieved when we are satisfied that the puzzle has been assembled to our satisfaction, that the answers have been reached and it is therefore possible to move on.
When people most need closure it is usually because the termination of the event is significant to them, holding particular value. Ultimately, having answers about past endings can help us maintain our identity and learn something about the behaviour of ourselves and others. Here are things you can do to help yourself get the closure you need. It takes time and patience. But you can get emotional closure — for yourself.
Make sure you’re moving through your own feelings.
You can give yourself closure. You can accept it’s never going to happen within the past relationships. And you can move on. Whatever shame or anger or disappointment you feel, you can let go.
Maintain your own integrity.
You can grow to trust that who you are will shine through. Be mindful of your own integrity and don’t be controlled by what the other is doing or saying. Guide your own life in a way that reflects your values, know where you are going and what you want. Be clear and persistent.
Quit trying so hard and be patient with yourself.
Give it space. Maybe slowly, with time, things and thoughts are likely to fall into place. Do not force anyone or yourself with the process of getting closure. Let it unravel naturally and organically. I always maintain the true fact, ‘When time is right, act.’ You will know deep within, intuitively.
Accept that not everyone has the willingness to take responsibility for themselves.
Be clear about what is fantasy and what is reality. Where you may be coming from the place of facts and logic, other person could be acting out of fantasy and illusion. Be mindful of this and proceed with kindness and compassion. You may be in the better place emotionally, stronger and emotionally secure, however the person you seeking closure with may be unaware of their emotional process and act from the position of emotional immaturity. They simply do not understand their emotional world within, can behave more re-actively, blaming you for everything that went wrong in the relationship, not accepting their responsibility, not because they do not want to, but because they haven’t reached emotional maturity yet, and that it is not their fault either. Act with emphaty rather than stay angry. Heal and move on.